Fangirling Fangirl

Reading really does inspire writing. After months of not posting anything here, I thought I’d do a little entry just to get my mind out of the Technical Training program I am currently slogging my way through.

I’m currently reading – yes reading – Rainbow Rowell’s Fangirl. To anyone and everyone who has ever written or read FanFiction, I suggest you read Fangirl. I’m just on Chapter 5 and already I love this book. It’s a very light read, nothing fancy, nothing earth shattering, but amidst the sinkhole that is my existence right now, it’s a golden rope ladder that the Literature gods have sent down to give me hope.

Hello, Simon and Baz? Hit closer to home, why don’t you.

To say that I relate to the main character, Cath, is an understatement. It’s like looking at my younger self and cringing at all the self-conscious things I knew I did before. I want to take her up in my arms and tell her everything will be ok, that people won’t hurt her if she doesn’t let them. But I know she’d hate that, just like I’d roll my eyes at anyone who would have said the same to me back then. I’m still at the beginning stages of the book, and already it has gotten me typing away at my computer, itching to start writing again.

Alas, my work has kept me away from the Muses and drained whatever drive I have to create. Right now, I’m in Bataan doing the rounds as a Management Trainee and cramming all the knowledge I can into my already tired brain. At times like these, I cling to the old reliables when it comes to stress-management. TV Shows, reading… and beer. The last one is a new favorite. Who knew that a bitter malt drink made from fermented beans would calm me down?

I’m probably exaggerating my experience just to entertain myself. It’s really not all that bad. My current beau lives in Bataan and works in the same plant as I do so we finally get to see each other everyday. Downside? It’s perpetual #sepanx whenever I DON’T get to see him (working hours, after dinner, weekends, etc.). I can’t imagine how it’ll feel going back to Manila and having to settle for seeing him 1x or 2x a month. LDR, folks, it’s a killer.

It feels good to write again. Watching words come out on screen feels like coming home. I’m back to 15 year old me, carefree and bursting with ideas. Why do we write?, asked a Professor in Fangirl. To express ourselves, to explore new worlds, to hear the sound of our own voice? According to Cath… to disappear.


Give Me Conditional

Reflecting on Katy Perry’s Unconditionally…

Oh no, did I get too close?
Oh, did I almost see what’s really on the inside?
All your insecurities
All the dirty laundry
Never made me blink one time

Unconditional, unconditionally
I will love you unconditionally
There is no fear now
Let go and just be free
I will love you unconditionally

Come just as you are to me
Don’t need apologies
Know that you are worthy
I’ll take your bad days with your good
Walk through the storm I would
I do it all because I love you, I love you

Unconditional, unconditionally
I will love you unconditionally
There is no fear now
Let go and just be free
I will love you unconditionally

So open up your heart and just let it begin
Open up your heart and just let it begin
Open up your heart and just let it begin
Open up your heart

Acceptance is the key to be
To be truly free
Will you do the same for me?

Unconditional, unconditionally
I will love you unconditionally
And there is no fear now
Let go and just be free
‘Cause I will love you unconditionally (oh yeah)
I will love you (unconditionally)
I will love you
I will love you unconditionally”

I think what’s scarier than the thought of loving someone unconditionally, is letting someone love us as completely. It fills me with a certain dread, thinking about letting someone know everything about me. Every.Thing. 

All the little, tiny morsels of selfishness, evil, doubt, insecurity hidden where the light of the sun doesn’t reach. 

This might just be my own personality disorder, but not having secrets is scary to me. Giving someone access to all of me, letting them know just how dark and twisty I really am? Probably my greatest fear.

Quarter Life…life

Wow! A lot has happened to me this August. With only 10 days before this month is over, I bet a lot more will come.

1. I turned 25! Yup, the big 2-5 , or something. I am officially in my mid-twenties! Instead of spiralling into my annual existencial abyss, I surprisingly find myself really excited for what is to come. I think I’m at that point where I don’t have to worry about the future. I’m strictly adhering to the living-in-the-now philosophy.

2. I’m single. Without going too much into the details of my relationship status, I’d just like to say that I have found my peace again. I found myself again. I’m letting myself be me again, after the longest time. I don’t regret my time as a couple…but I don’t regret saying goodbye to that either.

3. I’m finally the independent woman Destiny’s Child wanted me to be. This gem of a line comes from the US show, Mistresses. It really stuck with me because this is exactly where I am right now. I have a job (where I’m officially now employed at), I get to make my own decisions, I get to go out and take care of myself. No, I don’t have my Jaguar yet and I haven’t beem to Europe, but I feel like I’m on the right track. Also, I’m trying to practice my driving haha!

Hopefully I’ll be adding 4. I’m writing again to this list soon. Right now, sipping a drink and typing out my feelings…seems like the perfect way to spend a holiday afternoon. No fuss, no stress, no worries. I’m happy 🙂


I’ve been away from my WordPress for so long that the UI has changed. I am now thoroughly confused. As much time as I spend in front of a computer, I still get bamboozled with new things.

Anyway, I just wanted to write for a bit before my brain implodes. I’m under so much pressure from work that I don’t know where I’m going to put it all. I’ve resigned to sleeping the night away instead of worrying about it which is, understandably, counterproductive.

But wait! Yes, I’m working right now, but more on that on a separate post. I’ve also been to Japan recently…but again, more on that when I don’t feel like stabbing myself in the eye and then eating a tub of cookie dough ice cream.

Think of this post as a little purge. I need to release some pressure for the sake of my brain’s structural integrity. Expect a lot of randomness, DON’T expect things to make a whole lot of sense.

Look dogs! ❤

I just finished watching “Date and Switch”. It’s one part romantic comedy one part coming of age and one part bromance. Movies like this (and Kings of Summer) make me wish I was a bro and had a bromance of my own. Alas, it is not meant to be as I am a dame.

The work environment is confusing. Blurring of professional and personal is quite evident. And, it’s surprising the number of people in the workforce who doesn’t seem to have left highschool yet. Maturity is hard to come by. 

Relationships are hard. 

Recently stumbled upon this blog:

It’s super great! If you’re feeling down, heartbroken or confused, visit this blog! I guarantee a smile (and maybe an epiphany or two.)

Well, that’s it for my mini post. Hoping that after August (tagal teh) I’ll be able to really update my blog. 🙂  

More-than-a-year-after-New-Year’s Day Drabbles (Part 3)

Last 2013, I swore to write 13 drabbles as part of my New Years Day tradition. To this day, I’ve been short two drabble. So, for closure, here they are:

Two beeping pinpoints on the radar. Gladys squinted her eyes and held her breath. This was her first mission outside the walls and she was the lookout. Her two teammates, Sasha and Grey, went out to recon the area. They were supposed to report back in 2 hours with the lay of the land. They gathered intel that there was a straggling group nearby, all that remained of the Manchurian rebels. Maybe they can be recruited, maybe they have weapons or provisions they could steal. It was always a 50-50 thing. Two beeping pinpoints, Sasha and Grey. One beeping pinpoint.


One day, I’ll take you to Italy and we can ride a gondola together,” he whispered in my ear.

“All the gondolas are sunk now, you know,” I whispered back. They always said I was a pessimist.

“I’ll make you a gondola.”

I wrapped my arms around his chest. “Okay.” 

“Then, we’ll eat gelato. I don’t know if you American men like gelato, but it’s the best thing on earth.”

He always did like to point out that I was an American. It probably has something to do with his mom warning him about ‘those American ublyudok‘.

“I love gelato.”


Yay! More than a year in the making 🙂 My 13 drabbles. Check out Part 1 and Part 2.

Unspoken Feelings and Untold Dangers – The Lynburn Legacy and Me – Book Review (2&3/50)

I hope you all bear with me as I’m doing my reviews a little off-sequence.

I found out about The Lynburn Legacy while I was doing research about one of my favorite authors, Sarah Rees Brennan. During the early 2000’s she was known as Maya, one of my favorite fanfiction writers. Since publishing her first book, The Demon’s Lexicon, she has gone on to pen numerous others – leaving her fanfiction writing behind.

The Lynburn Legacy is her 3rd saga following The Demon’s Lexicon trilogy and The Bane Chronicles.

The first book is Unspoken. It is about a young and vivacious journalist-to-be, Kami, who finds out that her imaginary friend isn’t so imaginary after all. Jared, the voice inside her head that has accompanied her growing up, suddenly appears at her school; his emergence coinciding with the return of the town’s most prominent family, the Lynburns. Needless to say, confusion is awry as Kami struggles to make sense of everything, especially who (or what) the Lynburns are.

Though I am not one for YA romance novels, I was intrigued by the new spin on mind-reading that this book introduces. No Bella Swan-like antics here. I was hooked from the start, itching to know the secret of the Lynburns. What’s up with the creepy decor? Is Ash, Jared’s cousin, really who he appears to be? Is Angela, Kami’s devastatingly beautiful but hopelessly lazy bestfriend, the best supporting character ever? Will they ever get around to actually studying? These questions, and more, plagued me and so I just had to finish the book.

While this may not be Brennan’s strongest writing, it’s a fun romp none-the-less. Compared with her Demon’s Lexicon Trilogy, though, I found this book a little on the dragging side. We were intentionally being kept in the dark for so much of the book to the point that there were times where I  was getting annoyed already. Being, admittedly, not a romance kind of gal, I had no interest in the love triangle. I was more into the dynamics among the supporting characters than the Ash-Kami-Jared thing. And knowing how well Sarah can pen a romance, I was sort of disappointed.

What I LOVED about this book was the unique twist on the mind-reading trope. Sarah wrote it in such a way that I wanted a not-so-imaginary friend of my very own. Issues with privacy aside, I would love to have someone who is there for me 24/7 and could relate 100% to what I’m feeling. And, of course, I’d reciprocate that support as well .Why can’t we all have mysterious mental links?

Unspoken’s sequel, Untold, follows the gang after a confrontation with one of the  heads of the Lynburn clan turned Sorry-in-the-Vale on its head. Since I don’t want to give too much away about the reveal in Book 1, I’ll just go on and talk about my feelings as I read this book.

Again, I wasn’t too sold on the whole romance angle – at least not the main romance. There’s a surprising secondary relationship in bloom that I ❤ so much. I’m trying not to post spoilers, so forgive my cryptic-ness.

Unlike Unspoken, Untold didn’t really keep me on the edge of my seat. For a lot of the book, I was quite bored, to be honest. Echoing the sentiments of other readers, I found the book to have too much brooding and angst and not enough action (something I enjoyed in Book 1). I’d say this book suffered from the ills of 2nd books, having the middle book just be a sort of introduction to the final action in the last installment, with little merit on its own.

But Sarah did hook me in the end with a cliffhanger to end all cliffhangers. Suffice it to say, I’ll be staying tuned to the 3 and final installment of the Lynburn Legacy.

Happy New Year! Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? Book Review (1/50)

Happy New Year everyone! I wanted to kickstart 2014 with a new pet project and that is my “50 books in a year with accompanying review” project. Very self-explanatory title, I think. So, I thought to begin with the book that I started reading the day after Christmas and just finished roughly 5 hours ago. I don’t usually read that slowly (the book is only 200+ pages) but I wanted to savor the book very much.

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling (4/5 RATING)

I first heard about the book through a FullyBooked email newsletter (yes, those things are actually helpful!). The reason I wanted to read it was solely based on the fact that it was written by Mindy Kaling. She’s a brilliant writer/actor/comedian/awesome person who I learned about through her show The Mindy Project, though most people might know her from her stint on The Office (US).

I love The Mindy Project. Adore, obsessively watch, follow, like, approve, recommend, all that good stuff. It’s super funny and romantic at the same time. I love it for so many reasons that I won’t list them here because this is a book review and not a show review. You should still go watch it when it airs again!

The book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me, is an autobiography of sorts. It regales the readers with Mindy’s experiences growing up as the child of immigrant parents and a struggling writer. No tear-jerking stories here, though, as every short anecdote is filled with the patent Mindy humor. From realizing she loved comedy more than having a clique, to finding herself in college and moving to NYC with her bestfriends, Mindy talks about her funny/awkward/life-changing experiences amidst other “listicles” that make you want to hang out with Ms. Kaling, maybe forever.

I devoured every single page of this book. Not only because it’s a lighthearted, witty and easy read but also because I saw so much of myself in Mindy (and so much of Mindy in me. I hope she doesn’t mind me talking about her like we’re BFFs. I hope she doesn’t mind me wishing for us to become BFFs). I’m not a comedy writer or a child of immigrants, but I feel like I relate to her on almost every level. We’re both a little quirky, a little awkward and a lot just plain confused at a lot of things. I also do Irish exits a lot and contemplate about how my funeral should be arranged.

Aside from our many similarities, I also enjoyed the book because it chronicles how Mindy pursued her passion for comedy and slowly (but surely) made her way to where she wanted to be, not too famous but just famous enough to be important. I found myself exclaiming, “You Go Girl!”, in my head many times throughout the book. She knew what she wanted and she went for it – awkward silences and social norms aside.

One part that I absolutely loved was a brief chapter about how she was treated by stylists. Now that she was somebody, Hollywood was determined to make her fit into the actress mold – a very small one where it’s a requisite that you’re a size zero-one. Mindy was having none of that. She embraced her own body and made Hollywood accept her for who she is, a real woman. Couture gowns made in only sample sizes? Nope, she’s having none of THAT. It’s very uplifting to read about someone like me navigate the waters of the world.

People 2011 – Mindy with fellow comedien Ellie Kemper

This is a book female teens and twenteens should go and read. Mindy is a role model for ambitious young women who want to carve out a little place in the world for themselves.

Whole lotta Killing Going On: Riddick (2013) Movie Review

So, Riddick.

As a fan of The Chronicles of Riddick, I was ecstatic to find out that they were going to make another sequel in the “Riddick” series. The first movie, Pitch Black, was a surprise hit in 2000. The Chronicles of Riddick came out in 2004 and the third installment was released September 2013. Since I was busy reviewing for my board exams, I missed it when it was in theaters but was able to watch it just last night (thank you torrents). Here is what I think of it (WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD).

I was disappointed to find that Alexa Davalos (aka Kyra aka Jack) was NOT going to reprise her role in the third movie. A large part of my desire to see Riddick was to find out what happened to her. Is she really dead? Would she magically come back to life? How is Riddick going to avenge her death? Sadly, her story line was not mentioned AT ALL in Riddick.

Another thing I did not like about the movie was that it had less Chronicles and more Pitch Black. That is, there was very little “story” in the whole movie. Basically, Riddick is stranded on a planet (again) where everything is trying to kill him. He lures mercs using an emergency beacon so he can steal their ship and escape “Not-Furya”. The reason I loved Chronicles so much was the mythology around it. Hell, it even had two settings. In Riddick, we watch Vin Diesel outsmart the baddies and escape into the not-sunset.

The thing I did appreciate, was the movie’s nods to its predecessors. First, the beginning quickly explains how Riddick went from Grand Marshall of the Necromongers into scorpion-bait. Second, we are introduced to Johns’ dad. Next, Riddick somehow gets the baddies to make a deal with him that ultimately gets him to kill them and escape. As another reviewer said, Riddick is the real sequel to Pitch Black.

Another thing I noticed about the movie was the clever way it did a twist to the whole alien-boogey-man scenario. We see a lot of movies where a human ship crashes/gets invaded by the scary alien and we spend the whole time watching people get killed one-by-one. Riddick does follow the same pattern but instead of having an unknown alien fighting in the dark, the creature ghosting the silly humans is Riddick himself.


Also, Batista (the pro wrestler) is awesome as Diaz. To all Awkward fans, Collin (Nolan Gerard Funk) also has a part in the movie as the bible-thumping Luna, though his acting should go and ask Batista’s acting for some tips.

I did also love the visuals in this movie. Vin Diesel was great as the stoic Riddick, surviving against all odds. Though I did find the first few minutes quite self-indulgent (we get it, he’s badass), it does well to introduce the character to Riddick rookies. It’s that type of film where you don’t need to watch the sequels to understand or enjoy it, although you will miss the little nods here and there.

In the end, I’m not certain whether I like this movie or not; or if I’d recommend it as a must-watch film. It’s an OK film for sci-fi buffs and Riddick fans. It’s a good popcorn movie. Props for everything I mentioned above but it does leave me wanting more of the Riddick universe. Maybe a Riddick 4?

Italian Delights at Balboa, East Wing Shangrila

Last November 30, 2013, the family and I went out to celebrate my becoming a licensed engineer. We planned for dinner + a movie at Shangrila’s East Wing. I had a difficult time deciding where we would eat. Do I want Chinese food? Japanese? Italian? Would I want to eat at a buffet or a regular ala carte resto? So many choices!

I went online and saw 2 interesting (and new) restaurants at the East Wing. There was Balboa and Corazon. Thankfully they were on the same floor so it wouldn’t be a hassle to just get to the mall and decide on the spot.

We ended up eating at Balboa. Here’s my simple review.



Lasagna, Family Size, 509php

The menu specified that the meat in this lasagna was Angus Beef. Yum. My dad said that this was the way Italian lasagna was made, not at all like the Filipino lasagna I was expecting. It was a little on the bland side, for me. I think it could have done with a little more cheese since the bits of cheese I tasted were delish.


All Meat Pizza, Family size, 668php

As meat-eaters, my family thoroughly enjoyed this pizza. Again, it’s made in the Italian thin crust style with delicious cheeses and various meats. I recommend this dish highly. It’s not too filling or greasy, unlike most popular pizzas you’d encounter in the Philippines.


Osso Bucco Milanes, 448php

My favorite dish had to be the Osso Bucco Milanes. It’s beef shanks in some wonderful sauce. (Sorry, I wasn’t able to read the description on the menu). The meat was tender and very very flavorful. I only wished we ordered another one! The rice was OK, nothing special. I exclaimed that if this is what thier beef shanks tasted like, imagine how their steaks are :O

All-in-all Balboa is a sure-visit for fans of Italian fare. Though it is quite pricey (read: very pricey, I’d like to thank my sponsors mom and dad), the experience of eating there would surely make up for the empty space in your wallet.

However! I did not enjoy eating by the side of the restaurant. When we arrived, the place was full and we had to dine at the tables outside. While this may be a good idea if you’re living in the South of France in Springtime, it is not a good idea when dining in a busy mall.

The area where Balboa is situated is a particularly busy one with no less than 4 results in the vicinity. What’s more, the corridor where we ate was very narrow as it shared space with Corazon and its outside diners. There was zero ambiance as my family and I had to shout to hear one another and pedestrians kept hitting the back of my chair. It also made it difficult for us to call on the attention of the servers. I don’t know if it was poor planning on Shangrila’s part or on Balboa’s but having a restaurant with very little space inside for diners (I counted 5 or 6 tables only!) is quite vexing.

I’m not so sure if I’d like to come back. The food is really good and I’m curious about the other menu items, but my experience with eating in the corridor left a bitter aftertaste.

My Life Thus Far (aka I’m an Engineer, beaches!)

I am officially a Chemical Engineer! ❤

I am also officially an unemployed bum 😦

The reason for my semi-imposed hiatus was the onset of my country’s Chemical Engineering Board Exams which were held last November 19-21. These gruelling three days were designed to measure a ChE graduate’s knowledge and mental endurance. Once you pass this exam, you become a licensed Chemical Engineer in the Philippines and can proudly wear the title of Engineer.

After graduating last April, I set my sights to preparing for the boards by going to review classes. April-November was a long, long, anxious string of studying and catching up on new shows and eating and sleeping and dreading and praying. I tried not to stress about what’s coming.

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My messy room while I studied for the boards

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More photos of me studying

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Books and coffee, my consant companions

I began review classes on July and ended it early October. Then, I sprained my ankle pretty bad fighting the forces of evil (walking down the stairs) and was confined to my room for a few days, then to the house for a week or two. After that was a month of helpless cramming and praying to St. Jude that I don’t fail the boards and live in disgrace until the next one on April.

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Sprained my ankle. Ew. Gross. But still with fab nail polish. XD

Whenever I could, I tried to go out and do normal things. Hang out with friends, go to the salon, do physical stuff (since I was a vegetable for a number of weeks).

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Joined a 3k run/walk with my family

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Got my hair dyed. Loving being ginger!

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Watched The Voice of the Philippines Live

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Took time to play volleyballe after my ankle healed

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Spent some time with the boyfriend to de-stress

Thankfully, I passed! And though I didn’t make it to the top ten or anything, it makes me ecstatic to know that I lived up to people’s expectations and I made myself proud.

I rewarded myself with copious amounts of sugary drinks and a trip to Resorts World Manila. I’m still in the celebration stage and am planning on more dinners and more sugary-sweet beverages.

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Nutella Frappe!

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Swanky cars

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More sugary delights

Now, I’m in the swirling abyss of uncertainty. A lot of people are asking what I’ll be doing next. What is there to do? After I sort out my license registration thing, I’m heading out and searching for a job. Ah adult life. Here’s to hoping I’m employed in 2014 XD