Reading really does inspire writing. After months of not posting anything here, I thought I’d do a little entry just to get my mind out of the Technical Training program I am currently slogging my way through.
I’m currently reading – yes reading – Rainbow Rowell’s Fangirl. To anyone and everyone who has ever written or read FanFiction, I suggest you read Fangirl. I’m just on Chapter 5 and already I love this book. It’s a very light read, nothing fancy, nothing earth shattering, but amidst the sinkhole that is my existence right now, it’s a golden rope ladder that the Literature gods have sent down to give me hope.
To say that I relate to the main character, Cath, is an understatement. It’s like looking at my younger self and cringing at all the self-conscious things I knew I did before. I want to take her up in my arms and tell her everything will be ok, that people won’t hurt her if she doesn’t let them. But I know she’d hate that, just like I’d roll my eyes at anyone who would have said the same to me back then. I’m still at the beginning stages of the book, and already it has gotten me typing away at my computer, itching to start writing again.
Alas, my work has kept me away from the Muses and drained whatever drive I have to create. Right now, I’m in Bataan doing the rounds as a Management Trainee and cramming all the knowledge I can into my already tired brain. At times like these, I cling to the old reliables when it comes to stress-management. TV Shows, reading… and beer. The last one is a new favorite. Who knew that a bitter malt drink made from fermented beans would calm me down?
I’m probably exaggerating my experience just to entertain myself. It’s really not all that bad. My current beau lives in Bataan and works in the same plant as I do so we finally get to see each other everyday. Downside? It’s perpetual #sepanx whenever I DON’T get to see him (working hours, after dinner, weekends, etc.). I can’t imagine how it’ll feel going back to Manila and having to settle for seeing him 1x or 2x a month. LDR, folks, it’s a killer.
It feels good to write again. Watching words come out on screen feels like coming home. I’m back to 15 year old me, carefree and bursting with ideas. Why do we write?, asked a Professor in Fangirl. To express ourselves, to explore new worlds, to hear the sound of our own voice? According to Cath… to disappear.