Sad. (Disclaimer: Cathartic writing abound)

I promised myself that I was going to keep quiet about the whole issue. I didn’t want to get involved since it was so easy to be misinterpreted. But this time, at this moment…There’s just so much emotion in me that I fear I might explode.

I’ve been on a rollercoaster of feelings. Anger, resentment, indignation, spite…but right now all I feel is hurt.

It hurts to find out that the person you trusted, the person whom you thought was your friend, whom you invited into your home and spent some part of your life with was a completely different person. I feel so betrayed that they would do this. I don’t have a lot of friends. I’m mostly closed off and only make friends with a handful of people. Over the past years, I’ve lost some friends and each time was a hot knife cutting into my heart.

I always give people the benefit of the doubt. I don’t judge them through hearsay and would reserve judgement only when I have proof. Ika nga, ok tayo basta wag mo akong sasaktan.

And then this.

And then this happens.

And then you look me in the eye and fake being my friend.

And then you smile at me and disgrace the system, the whole that we are a part of.

Sa lahat ng pwede mong gaguhin, yung _ _ pa?

Now, I’ll be keeping one eye open. I thought I found the one place where I won’t have to be on my guard. I thought I found friends who would last me a lifetime. How dare you.

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